Turf Wars

No, I’m not talking about gang warfare. I’m talking about the battles that take place in the home between husband and wife. It’s the arguments that arise when needs and/or expectations are not clearly communicated. Uncommunicated expectations can never be met creating “losers.” Unbiblical expectations, even when expressed, will also never be met, which means eternal frustration in the home and more fights. In either case, one person is unhappy and unfulfilled, which brings on the need to hold their ground (aka turf) and “fight” so they can win and hopefully feel better about themselves.
This is where another one of the “good works” God has for us (Eph. 2:10) enters the real world, the world of your marriage. Jesus wants to use each spouse to help their partner become more like Him. This good work in marriage is to stop the turf wars! Either partner can call a time out and arrange a moment to talk at the first opportune time. Both parties can now reduce the noise in their heads by listening to Jesus (i.e. a Biblical worldview). “What is it that I really want? Does what I want line up with the Word of God? If not, am I willing to allow the Spirit to change me; thus stopping the turf war? If so, have I clearly communicated this need so the other person understands exactly what I want (Eph. 4:29)? Am I asking something from my mate that only God can give me?”
It takes the first principle of the Set Free Nowww to start this process: Being secure because you’re God’s child. He meets your needs, not your partner, though at times He may use your partner. He can show you if what you’re fighting over is something He wants for you (i.e. biblical). He can show you how to communicate with your partner.
It takes a secure child of God to create an atmosphere where Jesus is heard and not us. When this happens, it’s no longer about winning or holding onto our turf, but becoming more like Jesus where both spouses win.
“S”et Free Nowww

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